On A Busy Friday Night.
Patron: “Could I get some ranch for my french fries?”
G.H: “Absolutely, is there anything else I can get you while I’m back there?”
(What I meant: “Absolutely, but if you need anything else and don’t tell me until I get back I’ll cut your fucking balls off spit in your drink..”)
Upon returning-
Patron: “Oh, I actually meant Ketchup, not ranch”
G.H: “No problem, anything else you need”
(What I meant: “They are not even similar in any way, how could you confuse the two, stupid douche rocket. Oh, and thanks for wasting my time, if I get a shitty tip from another table cause I wasted all night on your useless errands I’ll blog terrible stuff about you and use your full name.”)
Upon returning-
Patron: “Actually, can I get some extra napkins to?”
G.H: “When I get a minute, I’ll bring them right out”
(What I meant: Fuck you and your napkins. When you stop me again in 20 minutes, I’ll apologize and act like I forgot, then I’ll go in the back and pull some napkins out of the garbage and you'll never fucking know!”